Picture
by alwayswriting
Summary: I carried a picture of her in my wallet." NikolasEmily


I carried a picture of her in my wallet. One time when I was paying my bill at the PC Grille, someone caught a glimpse of it and asked me if she was my girlfriend.

"She's just a friend," I said. I didn't add in the fact that I was in love with her. Sometimes I would forget I had this picture in my wallet, usually on my worst days, and when I opened my wallet to get some cash or a credit card, there she was, smiling. And I would smile back as if she was really there with me.

          "Do you have a picture of me in there?" Gia snatched the wallet away from me. "Most boyfriends keep a picture of their exes in their wallets, kind of like a tally of how many conquests they've had."

          I leaned back in the chair at Kelly's. "The same thing applies to ex-fiancés?" 

          She raised her eyebrow with a mischievous grin. "Especially ex-fiancés." She flipped through the plastic sheets that were filled with pictures of my uncle, my mother, Lucky and Lulu, Liz, and then she found what she was looking for. "Ah-ha. Here I am."

          "Satisfied?" I reached for the wallet only to have her move her hands away from me.

          "And what's this?" She showed me the picture of Emily. It was a taken while she was away. A picture she had sent me through the mail. I remembered when I received it, thinking that her dark hair had grown longer, her eyes wiser. 

          "What about it?" I asked. "It's just a picture of Emily."

          "In the very last slot," Gia said.

          I still wasn't getting it.

          "The last picture you put in your wallet either means you're hiding it," she said, "or---"

          I grabbed the wallet from Gia and put it in my back pocket. "Or there was no more room?"

          "Or you really care for it," she finished.

          "I thought you were studying law, Gia, not psychology," I said.

          "Not funny," she said. "Besides, I read about it in last month's Cosmo."

          "Then, I'm sorry I doubted you," I said.

          "You're still not funny, Nikolas."

          "You never did get my sense of humor." 

          "That's because you never had one," Gia said smiling.

          "Oh, yeah." I rose from my seat. "I have to get to the hospital."

          "Emily?"

          I nodded. "Did you want to come with me?"

          "You go ahead," she said. "I have to get to the library, but tell Emily I'm thinking about her, okay?"

          "I will," I said as I turned to leave.

**

          I opened her hospital door quietly in case she was asleep. "Nikolas?" I heard her say. I swung the door open and saw her sitting up in bed.

          "Hi," she said. She gestured to the chair next to her bed. "Sit down."

          "Where's Zander?" I asked.

          "I kicked him out," she said with a smile. "Actually, I told him to go home and get some sleep. He's been here day and night."

          "Well, that's because he cares about you," I said. "A lot of people do."

          "I know."

          I reached over and took her hand into mine. "How are you doing?"

          She attempted to keep her smile for me, but I knew she was having a hard time. "I don't know. Sometimes I start thinking about my future and I can see forever, but then I look again, and all I see is darkness. It's like I going up and down."

          "You will get better, Emily," I said. It sounded weak. It sounded like a lie, but I didn't know if I was trying to convince Emily or myself.

          "Just promise me something, Nikolas," she said.

          "Anything."

          "Be happy." She looked down at her hospital gown and the IV tubes that were connected to her. "When I'm gone, I don't want you to cry for me, or have any regrets, or be miserable. Try to be happy with Lydia. Have children and let them play in the tunnels at Wyndemere and in the woods on the island, and then let your grandchildren do the same thing." A tear rolled down her cheek. "I'll watch over them. I'll make sure they're safe, and I'll watch over you too, Nikolas. Always."

          I raised her hand to my lips, her skin still soft and warm. With her other hand, she touched my head, running her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes as the tears ran down my face.

**

          I carried her picture in my wallet. One time when I was paying for my breakfast at Kelly's, someone caught a glimpse of it and asked me if she was my girlfriend. "She's my guardian angel," I said.

**

          This is the Emily I would always remember. The long dark hair and the eyes that revealed her old soul. Her tombstone stared back at me as if taunting me to try to make me conjure up her memory. I held her picture in my hand. The edges were worn and it was no longer as glossy, but her smile still radiated. 

I missed her everyday; a piece of me had disappeared with her. I didn't sleep much anymore. I spent most nights at my window with a glass of scotch in my hands, my eyes on the dark sky and water while Lydia slept alone in the bed. "Be happy," Emily had told me, had me promised her. 

I glanced to my right, knowing she was standing next to me. I let go of my grasp on her picture and instead of falling to the ground, it rose up to the sky, higher and higher. I watched as Emily took back her picture. I stood there, watching it flutter in the air until it vanished from my sight. I turned and walked down the grassy hill with my head lowered. I put my hands inside my coat pockets feeling the absence of her picture.

THE END


End file.
